Very Trying Week

Well after 5 months of college, I am beginning to think that perhaps I might survive this after all.  I have decided that I completely loathe computer programming.  I heard that you have to have a twisted mind to be a computer programmer.  I am happy to say that I am not twisted, at least not in that direction. 

Today I sluffed school to hang with my daughters.  It all started with a very unfortunate thing happening to one of them.  So we used this as an excuse to slack off to cheer up the child.  Two of us sluffed school, the other was on spring break.  My school will not be the same after my daughter got through messing with some of the messages on dry erase boards.  It was probably caught on camera and I will be removed from school permanently come Monday.

This week has been very trying.  My daughter is an avid lacrosse player.  Got the bug a couple of years ago and has been chin deep in it since.  Last year she stepped into a boy's game to fill in for a player.  That was what started her bug to play boy's lacrosse.  The rules are totally different and boys play a more aggressive game.  I think she really only wanted an excuse to pound someone.  Anyway, her and her friend wanted to tryout for the team this past January.  The booster club could not find any legal rules stating they couldn't play and so the girls were allowed to condition, train and tryout for the team.  They made it and have been working as hard if not harder than the boys to make their team successful.  Three days before the first game, the booster club leader "happened" to find rules that have been on the records since 2006 stating rules for girls on boys teams.  To make a long story short.  The booster bullied the girls off the team by  threatening them to not play them etc. and other legal issues we won't get into.  The girls regrettably backed down to preserve the team's spirit and integrity.  It has been extremely hard for them, because the boosters should have followed through on their initial promise to let the girls play this season. That was all they wanted, but they chose to take the lower road and bully them out of the program. 

During this time, the girl's lacrosse team turned on these two poor girls because of their decision a to tryout for the boy's team.  My daughter's friend had been threatend with bodily harm from the goalie of the girls team at one point.  So not only do the girls get kicked off the boy's team they are now forced to quit playing this season because of the way the girls on the lacrosse team have been to them. 

It has been very emotional.  We have decided to not file a lawsuit because we would destroy the program.  The booster club has no legal ground to kick these girls off, but we did not want to ruin it for the boys who would ultimately be the ones who pay for this.

I am amazed at how low people will stoop to get what they want.  Their word means nothing, their integrity means nothing and the character they carry with them throughout the rest of their life means nothing to them.  How sad.  I will say this. If I or my daughter run into any of these booster leaders, they will have nothing bad to say about our character, but we will always remember them and the lack of theirs.

This too shall pass.  Losing her chance to play lacrosse has been as trying as losing a pet.  She did admit it was worse than losing her dog, that is because her dog can be a complete pain in the butt.  I don't think down deep she really meant it.  She really does love "The spawn of Satan".

So if anyone is ever in SLC, UT or Logan, UT I suggest staying at the Anniversary Inn.  They have got some of the most amazing rooms.  They have decorated them all with different themes.  You can take tours of their rooms at http://www.anniversaryinn.com/.  The best place to spend a night with your sweetheart!

Cows are NOT Meant to Roam Free and Wild

So, for about three weeks now I have been having a turf war with the neighbors cow.  I am a somewhat patient person, but even this has pushed this mother's buttons to the limit.  I find myself thinking very evil thoughts more often which is not becoming of my character.  Just two days ago I thought, "I would like to tie an anchor onto that cow's neck and drop kick it into the well".  Or there was this thought, "I would like to put that cow into the neighbors front yard and let it roam and eat all of their trees and flowers".  Or how about the day I came home and it was standing in my driveway trying to take on my car.  I reved the engine and it pawed the ground.  I wasn't having it.  I gassed it and flew at the cow slamming on the brakes at the last minute.  It had a small affect on it.  Then it was back.

No matter how many times, my neighbor has seen his cow out, he does nothing to put it up.  This has become very frustrating to me.  So yesterday like a good neighbor, I chased the cow about a mile away from it's home with a loaded BB gun.  I thought it would get lost in the other neighbor's corn field along with the group of chickens we chased in there a couple of days ago.....but no....it still came back.  Like a horrible stray cat that keeps showing up on your front porch and you can't get rid of.  You take it for a drive...it comes back....you run it over.....it still comes back....you don't feed it.....it still stays.

The cow hears the pumping of the BB gun and starts running.  You would think that it would eventually put two and two together and realize when it comes to the "greener side of the fence", it is going to feel pain.

If it was the old west, that cow would now belong to me or it would have been shot by me and ate for dinner.  I wonder if an animal spends a certain amount of time on someone else's property if that animal's ownership transfers over to a new owner.  Ponder that one for the law books.

Big Boy Toys

My sons created a giant playground for adult paintballers and airsoft wars.  Today their scout leader brought his employees for a round of paintball.  I do believe I saw three brave women in the group.  I have heard of the welts that the paintballs leave and am still undecided if I would try it.  I would need padding from head to toe.  Yes, I know..I am a pansy with some things.  There is a difference between accidentally getting hurt and totally setting yourself up to get hurt.  I ask myself, "Why would I do that?".

It amazes me how some men really never grow up.  Now they can be fun loving and act like kids or they can be complete imbeciles and look like an idiot no matter what age they are or act.  I have decided this runs rampant among the male human species.  I of course, am attached to the first.  A fun loving kid at heart.  Who only does really stupid things once in awhile.  He has tried some interesting modes of transportation that leaves some to question his sanity, but all in all he is a pretty fun guy.

I feel bad for the poor ladies out there that husbands think they are too old for any type of behavior.  What fun is that? You got to cut loose every once in awhile and enjoy your life.  Find the funny in everything, do something spontaneous and crazy.  Do something unexpected.  That is what makes people interesting.

Nutrition Facts for Adults

I was thinking the other day as I looked at my old, sagging body in the mirror, "If as a youth I could have seen into the future and saw the Nutrition Facts label slapped across the behind of my adult body would I have grown up?"

Seriously, the things that age and childbirth does to the body.  If my butt had a Nutrition Facts label stuck to it this is what it would say:
Serving Size: Better Go Easy On It
Servings Per Container: Not More Than one.  It's Having A Hard Time Fitting
Amount Per Serving: Really Wants Seconds But Knows She Shouldn't
Calories: Depends on the Day      Calories from Fat: Too Many To Count
Total Fat: Dude...Label Too Small
Cholesterol: Is That Even a Real Word
Sodium: Ahhhh Can Drink Jug fulls certain times of the month
Total Carbs: Donuts, Spaghetti, Cookies, Swedish Fish
Protein: I accidentally hit a deer once with my car, Does that count?
Not a significant amount of fiber (unless I go out to eat Mexican the night before)

Nothing compares to the havoc children wreak on the womens body.  That is when I started falling apart piece by piece.  My children are constantly reminding me how much certain parts of the body look gnarly.

All I can say is, "Alas my children, be watchful, old age will sneak upon you and snatch the youth right out from under you.  Then you too, will hear the snickers from young lasses and lads of how North is looking like South.  Then it is your turn to sit back and watch the cycle of life".

Redneck Joke of the Day

You know you are a redneck when you haven't been to church in months because your Sunday socks are doubling as your gas cap.

Redneck Joke of the Day

You know you are a redneck when you haven't been to church in months because your Sunday socks are doubling as your gas cap.

Show Gratitude Each Day

Because of recent events in decrease in cash flow, all of my children were required to ride the bus instead of drive to school.  Of course, my daughters were rushing to get out the door because of the time constraint and I was rushing trying to help my 12 year old with his homework he didn't do the night before.  Oatmeal was not my meal of choice, but the only available food substance this morning. 

Oatmeal is best ate when it is warm.  No doubt about that.  Of course, some children were slow getting to the table and by the time the prayer was said, the oatmeal was cold.  As I sat there choking down every last bit, cold lump by cold lump I began to wonder why I had to eat cold oatmeal.  I am sure my children were wondering the same thing because of the moans and groans I heard throughout the 5 minute meal. 

Sometimes when I am asked what is for dinner, I will reply "pig slop".  Even though it may look like pig slop and perhaps taste like it to some, that pig slop was not retrieved from a dumpster or landfill somewhere.  I did not have to go scrounging through a sesspool of filth, flies and maggots to provide the meal.  Yeah, it may not taste like chicken chimichangas or pizza, but it was edible and will keep you alive for one more day. 

Consistently expressing sincere and heartfelt gratitude for what you already have is the underlying and
often overlooked force which opens doors to immeasurable abundance and happiness.  Heavenly Father has blessed us greatly and it is to Him we owe our lives.