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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Nutrition Facts for Adults

I was thinking the other day as I looked at my old, sagging body in the mirror, "If as a youth I could have seen into the future and saw the Nutrition Facts label slapped across the behind of my adult body would I have grown up?"

Seriously, the things that age and childbirth does to the body.  If my butt had a Nutrition Facts label stuck to it this is what it would say:
Serving Size: Better Go Easy On It
Servings Per Container: Not More Than one.  It's Having A Hard Time Fitting
Amount Per Serving: Really Wants Seconds But Knows She Shouldn't
Calories: Depends on the Day      Calories from Fat: Too Many To Count
Total Fat: Dude...Label Too Small
Cholesterol: Is That Even a Real Word
Sodium: Ahhhh Can Drink Jug fulls certain times of the month
Total Carbs: Donuts, Spaghetti, Cookies, Swedish Fish
Protein: I accidentally hit a deer once with my car, Does that count?
Not a significant amount of fiber (unless I go out to eat Mexican the night before)

Nothing compares to the havoc children wreak on the womens body.  That is when I started falling apart piece by piece.  My children are constantly reminding me how much certain parts of the body look gnarly.

All I can say is, "Alas my children, be watchful, old age will sneak upon you and snatch the youth right out from under you.  Then you too, will hear the snickers from young lasses and lads of how North is looking like South.  Then it is your turn to sit back and watch the cycle of life".

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Just a kid at Heart

Just a kid at Heart